One barely has to roll out of bed in the early afternoon to put on an art show. There are all of about five details one has to handle: getting the space, advertising, hanging the art, making it to the opening on time, and cleaning up. It just all does itself, really and with the few pointers set forth below you are that much ahead of the game.

It is helpful to understand something about art jargon at an opening but not too much; i.e. if you’re hosting a “Post-Pop” show, it may be a good idea to know what “Pop” art was, and how your paintings, by even the most infinitely tangential fourth dimensional calculus, can be considered well-earned in their status in the marbled halls and rolling Hieronymical fields of modern “Art History.”

Send press releases to newspapers early — at least two weeks in advance — and then fax or call for a reminder a week in advance. We called first, sent press packages with a couple of color copies of the art, and forgot to call again but it generally worked out.

Get help. Try to work with someone else.

Put posters up in shops about one week in advance. Try to get posters or signs out on the roads on the day of the opening saying something like “art Show Today.”

have a greeter at the door. A hello, program in hand, sign the guest book and then general welcome with upbeat attitude introducing the art. Have enough (too much) food. For some reason, art openings are open territory for professional knoshers.

Have tear sheets available.

Expect the unexpected (always). Notice who comes,who actually shows up, after you’ve invited everyone you know.

Invite some local people to interact in special ways with the show, i.e. music, balloon soccer, whittling or whatever. Ask them to bring friends.

Get the book, The Art of Showing Art by J.K. Reeve.

At some POINT, the opening may seem to breathe its own silent life . . . Enjoy!