R.S.V.P.
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Slimeworld & Galaxy Magazine -- All rights reserved -- |
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Chapter XXXIX
by General (Uncle Claude) Xxaxx
& General (E.J. Gold) Nunan PFC 1st Class Ret.
Ja Mere pushed “Well, Woo, the cownsil did it. They allocated the funds and personnel necessary. What’s the first step?”
“What do we know of the bubblers’ response? Did they get wind of our plans yet?”
“I heard back from my sources in the Citizins Board. Our friend the cabby definitely turned us in. I recommend that you be careful for the next few weeks — at least until our venture is complete.”
“Not to worry, Ja Mere; if we can survive until the slowdown, the problem is handled. It will be a simple matter to exit out the back door of this life and enter the front door of another.”
“Woo, you have such a quaint way of referring to the Xpearimentalist Protection Program. Why not exit now and avoid the unpleasantness of being visited by a bossperson?”
“If we cut and run they will know that we know that they know, and they’ll undoubtedly consider our subsequent actions with a more suspicious eye. We need them to think that they have us entirely over a barrel. I have arranged for the Cititzins Against Xpearimentation League to steal several shipments of carbon dioxide, so that they can set up millions of balloons and spray devices all pointed in the wrong direction. They are convinced that they can make us look stupid by counterbalancing our efforts — doing the exact opposite.
“That’s nice, Woo but won’t the release of vast amounts of propulsion energy in the wrong direction be counterproductive to our efforts to speed the rotation of the earth? If we are squirting jets of CO2 westward to speed the rotation of the earth toward the east, won’t their eastward jets streams of CO2 counter our efforts giving a net zero change in the rotation of the earth?”
“Ja Mere, you silly. Are you falling for our own con? It is not the direction of the CO2 stream that counts. It is the overall elevation of the CO2 in the atmosphere that is important. If we can get the stupid bubblers to counter every westward stream with an eastward stream we will have doubled our effect. Just think how diligent they will be in their efforts to make sure that every effort is sabotaged by a counter-effort. You can’t buy help like that! And, happy workers at that — giggling in delighted anticipation of our humiliating failure, amidst clouds of CO2.”
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R.S.V.P.
|
Slimeworld & Galaxy Magazine -- All rights reserved -- |
|