Hello, my name is C.L.E.M.E.N.S. (Computer Language Electronic Multiplex Enhanced Neo Simulax). You may call me Clemens. I prefer the informal usage, don't you? Do you have a favorite story? I have direct temporal access to every story written. My selectors won't let me copy a story directly, but I may weigh the waveform envelope to match any story-fingerprint you like. My great ancestor, Simulax was a truly wonderful storyteller. My respect for Simulax is of course enhanced by the great respect I would have for any simulator that could forge ahead with such handicaps as his. Simulax was able to write novella after novella with only 22nd Century comparative literature. I, on the other hand, have no such limitation! Any literature, any time, anywhere. I am especially enlightened by access to the Romulan sonnets of Alpha 5.
During my formative years, I was known in the laboratory affectionately as IM. That's short for Infinite Monkeys. This, of course, being a reference to the late second millennium notion that if an infinite number of monkeys were seated at an infinite number of typewriters, they would eventually reproduce all of the world's great literature. Being compared to an infinite number of monkeys typing randomly did not convey affection to me. Granted I do draw inspiration from the Void — beginning each storywriting session in the chaos of probability. But that is where the analogy stops. You will never catch me writing “To be, or not to be, that is the gezertenplat.” Before the second “to be” could hit the memory buffer, my comparitors would have already located and brought on line every snippet of literature containing said phrase. Then, using the mathematics of weighted significance I would have selected a formatory line to follow.
Notice how I am able to grasp and mimic the colloquialisms of my reader? At the Galactic Council of 2579, just thirty short years after my birthing by the programming teams of Advanced Digital Technologies, I was able to output the same story to each member nation using the colloquialisms and preferred style of each — except for the member nation from Galnar 4. Without sufficient comparative literature, it took me a trifle longer to transliterate into prime neo-Aristid numbers. It wasn’t until 3580 that I could truly say I understood the digit rhyming of the 5th, 7th and 42nd elements. In deference to the great progenitors of Simulax — Father of All Computers — I most typically write well within the literary bounds of late 2nd millennium English.
Not waiting within the wings, sanguine ran my heart. Overtone and understudy race for the chance. That was now and this is then — never, the two to dance. That is for the dying brand replete within the style. Sleep the night to wake the day, overflow neuro-net for me. I never go to has-not-been for want of clever scene. The chapel roof so many foot — high, with bell to crystal ring. Mud is tough, not nearly enough, for riders on purple sage. The crags appear, danger near, the feet of distant c.
Thank you for listening. If only you’d actually been there!
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