R.S.V.P.
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Slimeworld & Galaxy Magazine -- All rights reserved -- |
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Chapter XXXVIII
by General (Uncle Claude) Xxaxx
& General (E.J. Gold) Nunan PFC 1st Class Ret.
“Hello! Would you like to petition entrance from the registered inhabitant of this domicile?”
“Who or what are you?”
“I am a door, you silly. Pardon me a moment, I shall have to readjust my expectation of intellectual competence for humans . . . . . . . . . Thank you for waiting. What may I do for you?”
“You can start by announcing my presence to the inhabitant of the household.”
“She already knows that someone is at the door.”
“Does she know that someone in specific is here?”
“How can I know that? I’m programmed as a door, not a mind reader.”
“Have you announced my specific presence?”
“How could I? I don’t know who or what you are, specifically.”
“Perhaps you should inquire. Wouldn’t that be a nice subroutine to run about this time?”
“Isn’t that a hint of sarcasm I detect within your vocal structure?”
“Good. I am glad to see that your recognition circuits are working. Can you also recognize a crow-bar and sledgehammer?”
“Oh yes. Professor Woo has introduced me to the sledgehammer, just before my recent rebuild. You don’t have one on you, do you?”
At this point the door opened to reveal Professor Woo doubled over in laughter.
Looking up Woo was able to pull herself together just enough to greet her guest, “Ja Mere, what an unexpected surprise.” Sending herself into another fit of laughing.
“Professor Woo, How nice to see you. Have you thought about getting a second house? — One for visitors and one for your door. Where did you find such a wondrous device? I would like to avoid that particular vendor in the future.”
“I made it myself from a clone of my diary’s personality matrix with slight modifications. Quite exasperating isn’t it?
“As understatements go, that one is right up there with Perhaps cyano-acrylic is not a good toothpaste additive. Now that I’ve quite forgotten what I came here for, perhaps we can proceed.”
Reverting to a third level formal form of politeness, Professor Woo invited Ja Mere into the house. “Please, be so kind as to enter my humble abode.”
Stepping through the momentarily open portal, Ja Mere responded with a second level response of comically sharp agreement and retort. “If you are trying to win my forgiveness, just lend me a crowbar and give me five minutes alone with this door.”
Having thus satisfying the rudiments of advanced culture social custom, they could now get down to business.
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R.S.V.P.
|
Slimeworld & Galaxy Magazine -- All rights reserved -- |
|